Friday, August 21, 2009
a perfect circle
I will close this blog here..time for a new (and damn expensive!) chapter in southern california.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
back to USA?
..and the ping-pong game continues as I may be moving back to the US to take up a job there.
This will also let me and my wife live together and also live close to our respective workplaces.
Whether this time it will be permanent remains to be seen, since it depends a lot on how our careers shape up. No doubt it will be a hectic time and may involve starting a family, which brings its own issues about which country is better for kids. Well, all I can say is that after all this shuttling, both India and the US seem like home at times and foreign some times. The US is kind of in the doldrums right now and needs to figure out a way to get out of it and reaffirm its belief in itself. India is doing pretty well on the whole, although progress is next to zero in the political class. In any case, neither is anywhere near perfect so I'm quite happy living anywhere and have no over riding preference either way. What a nice way to solve the R2I/LIA dilemma. My advice, such as it is from my limited experience, is that R2I is fine and will work out if you give it time (1 year at least). All that worrying about R2I adjustment and letting go of the "good life" in US seems trifling to me in retrospect. Life is fine anywhere if you let it carry you a bit here and there and dont try to control it too much. As for LIA (i mean with house and kids and all, not the single no-responsibility life), I may find out soon enough what that's like. Its good to feel at home in both places finally!
The old adage "someone long ago said it best" is true (writing has deteriorated in the last few centuries anyway), so here is something that best summarizes my feelings, and I suspect is universal, about R2I vs LIA (from Adam Smith, 1600s):
The great source of both the misery and disorders of human life, seems to arise from over-rating the difference between one permanent situation and another. Avarice over-rates the difference between poverty and riches: ambition, that between a private and a public station: vain-glory, that between obscurity and extensive reputation. The person under the influence of any of those extravagant passions, is not only miserable in his actual situation, but is often disposed to disturb the peace of society, in order to arrive at that which he so foolishly admires. The slightest observation, however, might satisfy him, that, in all the ordinary situations of human life, a well-disposed mind may be equally calm, equally cheerful, and equally contented. Some of those situations may, no doubt, deserve to be preferred to others: but none of them can deserve to be pursued with that passionate ardour which drives us to violate the rules either of prudence or of justice; or to corrupt the future tranquillity of our minds, either by shame from the remembrance of our own folly, or by remorse from the horror of our own injustice.
This will also let me and my wife live together and also live close to our respective workplaces.
Whether this time it will be permanent remains to be seen, since it depends a lot on how our careers shape up. No doubt it will be a hectic time and may involve starting a family, which brings its own issues about which country is better for kids. Well, all I can say is that after all this shuttling, both India and the US seem like home at times and foreign some times. The US is kind of in the doldrums right now and needs to figure out a way to get out of it and reaffirm its belief in itself. India is doing pretty well on the whole, although progress is next to zero in the political class. In any case, neither is anywhere near perfect so I'm quite happy living anywhere and have no over riding preference either way. What a nice way to solve the R2I/LIA dilemma. My advice, such as it is from my limited experience, is that R2I is fine and will work out if you give it time (1 year at least). All that worrying about R2I adjustment and letting go of the "good life" in US seems trifling to me in retrospect. Life is fine anywhere if you let it carry you a bit here and there and dont try to control it too much. As for LIA (i mean with house and kids and all, not the single no-responsibility life), I may find out soon enough what that's like. Its good to feel at home in both places finally!
The old adage "someone long ago said it best" is true (writing has deteriorated in the last few centuries anyway), so here is something that best summarizes my feelings, and I suspect is universal, about R2I vs LIA (from Adam Smith, 1600s):
The great source of both the misery and disorders of human life, seems to arise from over-rating the difference between one permanent situation and another. Avarice over-rates the difference between poverty and riches: ambition, that between a private and a public station: vain-glory, that between obscurity and extensive reputation. The person under the influence of any of those extravagant passions, is not only miserable in his actual situation, but is often disposed to disturb the peace of society, in order to arrive at that which he so foolishly admires. The slightest observation, however, might satisfy him, that, in all the ordinary situations of human life, a well-disposed mind may be equally calm, equally cheerful, and equally contented. Some of those situations may, no doubt, deserve to be preferred to others: but none of them can deserve to be pursued with that passionate ardour which drives us to violate the rules either of prudence or of justice; or to corrupt the future tranquillity of our minds, either by shame from the remembrance of our own folly, or by remorse from the horror of our own injustice.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
shuttling between US and India
..and now i'm back in India after 7 months in the US. 7 months where i worked pretty hard, but made sure to enjoy other aspects of life as well, including spending time with wife and friends. I took some personal time to reflect on things I need to achieve in the future. The good thing about shuttling between 2 parts of your life, one indian and one american is that you learn you can never be rid of either, and moving or staying should be based on an acceptance of both, not rejection of one. Finally, you should stay where you are happiest, and this your heart tells you, and this is the right answer even if it doesn't make sense professionally or financially in the short term. I now also have a better understading and respect for "time". It is not finite in terms of things you want to achieve in your life (there is ample time for that and life will give you a break from time to time), but one has finite time to put ideas into action. At some point, stop thinking and just do. If its a mistake, so be it. I took some courses to satisfy my growing interest in the financial world. The physical Universe is a fascinating place in terms of underlying structure, but the financial universe is so interconnected and capricious, its equally fascinating to someone who lacks deep knowledge of this field. I did some traveling to remind myself how much I enjoy seeing new places and how beautiful unpopulated and untouched natural surroundings can be. My greatest triumph of the last few months was overcoming my fear of water and learning how to swim. I now enjoy it a lot and it was a well-learned lesson in how going outside your comfort zone is the only way to remain challenged and therefore young (yes, i'm starting to feel old, but i'll fight it the only way possible - by not settling for anything that's easy).
I am now trying to adopt this mantra on a day-2-day basis. To do something which I am not familiar with or which doesn't come easily as a consequence of past training. This way, I can lose track of time and be productive rather than let petty deadlines rule your life, in which case you lose productivity and enjoyment of work.
The weather in Chennai is comfortably warm, now being winter, and I am in a more relaxed and well-adjusted state than a year ago when I dove into changes that had unanticipated consequences - but that is so with most big decisions and one has to accept them with an open mind and look for opportunities in the future. I now know a) where i want to live and b) how to make peace with a choice. I am now in the process of implementation. The results will follow as they always do.
The local news here in Chennai, and elsewhere in India is about the Mumbai attacks. I will go about my life in the usual way hoping that effective measures are introduced to improve security and tackle the underlying causes (by asking the Americans to do so!). The "local" news in Chicago concerns the Illinois governor who has taken a chapter, rather than a page, out of the indian politician's playbook. Governor Rod Blagojevich is invited to visit his kindred souls in the indian political leadership who survive on the apathy of most sections of our indian society, and preferably take them back with him to Federal US prison. America, world police, we need you (Somalia and Zimbabwe will second it)
I am now trying to adopt this mantra on a day-2-day basis. To do something which I am not familiar with or which doesn't come easily as a consequence of past training. This way, I can lose track of time and be productive rather than let petty deadlines rule your life, in which case you lose productivity and enjoyment of work.
The weather in Chennai is comfortably warm, now being winter, and I am in a more relaxed and well-adjusted state than a year ago when I dove into changes that had unanticipated consequences - but that is so with most big decisions and one has to accept them with an open mind and look for opportunities in the future. I now know a) where i want to live and b) how to make peace with a choice. I am now in the process of implementation. The results will follow as they always do.
The local news here in Chennai, and elsewhere in India is about the Mumbai attacks. I will go about my life in the usual way hoping that effective measures are introduced to improve security and tackle the underlying causes (by asking the Americans to do so!). The "local" news in Chicago concerns the Illinois governor who has taken a chapter, rather than a page, out of the indian politician's playbook. Governor Rod Blagojevich is invited to visit his kindred souls in the indian political leadership who survive on the apathy of most sections of our indian society, and preferably take them back with him to Federal US prison. America, world police, we need you (Somalia and Zimbabwe will second it)
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
10 months hence
ok, actually i'm now back in the US, on a temporary visiting scientist position for a few months. I was quite looking forward to this since i'm able to escape the chennai heat for a while and also work a bit more efficiently with my collaborators who are in the US. In addition, i now get to stay with my wife till November, and she is due to finish her PhD in December, so we wont be apart for as long as we thought we would.
How does it feel to be back in the US? I get asked this a lot. Well, its only been a week here, and 10 months in India was not long enough, so I think the US feels pretty much the same. The one thing that's really nice - the clean streets and neighborhoods, and the lack of obvious destitution. I didn't think this would be such a big deal, but it is. I dont care about dollars vs. Rs, or work here vs. work there (i'm lucky to have a great work environment in both the US and India) but cleanliness and the fact that average people just live way more comfortably here is nice to see. and the lack of crowds everywhere (except at places i dont go to anyway, like baseball games and rock concerts) is something i like, though some may prefer the hustle and bustle of indian streets, and i do too on rare occasions.
I do miss family (mom and dad) but being with my wife and friends makes up for it. Someday, we shall all be together, and that is pretty much the ultimate aim. However, i think one's first responsibility is to one's own spouse and kids, parents are next in line, harsh thought that may sounds in the indian context.
For now, my wife has to get a job somewhere after her graduation and we shall see how things go. I would say 10 months in India is not enough to give it a chance, specially if you are not mobile and really like a lot of things about India from the get-go. I have yet to deal with any big practical problems in India - just minor irritants like arguing with autowallahs in chennai, people spitting left, right and center, general uncleanliness and apathy towards the same, and specifically for chennai, the heat. not much one can do about these things except not let it bother you too much - in other words, become apathetic yourself! Hey, at least the food is great.
what our plans are in the long run and how they will develop remains to be seen - watch this space!
How does it feel to be back in the US? I get asked this a lot. Well, its only been a week here, and 10 months in India was not long enough, so I think the US feels pretty much the same. The one thing that's really nice - the clean streets and neighborhoods, and the lack of obvious destitution. I didn't think this would be such a big deal, but it is. I dont care about dollars vs. Rs, or work here vs. work there (i'm lucky to have a great work environment in both the US and India) but cleanliness and the fact that average people just live way more comfortably here is nice to see. and the lack of crowds everywhere (except at places i dont go to anyway, like baseball games and rock concerts) is something i like, though some may prefer the hustle and bustle of indian streets, and i do too on rare occasions.
I do miss family (mom and dad) but being with my wife and friends makes up for it. Someday, we shall all be together, and that is pretty much the ultimate aim. However, i think one's first responsibility is to one's own spouse and kids, parents are next in line, harsh thought that may sounds in the indian context.
For now, my wife has to get a job somewhere after her graduation and we shall see how things go. I would say 10 months in India is not enough to give it a chance, specially if you are not mobile and really like a lot of things about India from the get-go. I have yet to deal with any big practical problems in India - just minor irritants like arguing with autowallahs in chennai, people spitting left, right and center, general uncleanliness and apathy towards the same, and specifically for chennai, the heat. not much one can do about these things except not let it bother you too much - in other words, become apathetic yourself! Hey, at least the food is great.
what our plans are in the long run and how they will develop remains to be seen - watch this space!
Friday, January 18, 2008
6.5 months hence
life is now quite hectic, specially at work, where i have several travels coming up. Now that the future is also getting busy, i can say that i am beginning to lay down some roots here. I'm interacting with a wider circle of people, spending more, shopping more and filling out forms and giving passport photos for everything! (a sure sign you've arrived in india!)
family-wise, i'm learning that readjusting even to your own family is non-trivial. when i left my folks 11 years ago, i was still very much their kid and listening to their advice. now, having returned after "growing up" in the states, i find i behave and react quite differently with my parents. apparently, and this honestly comes as a surprise to me, i am more argumentative, inconsiderate and individualistic than before. on introspection, i believe this is true, and independent living in the US perhaps has this consequence, which is somewhat unwelcome in india. anyway, a person is the sum and more, of his/her experiences, so i plan to take this in stride and see how far my present persona survives in the company of "family". certainly, i cannot change my personality, but i'm sure it evolves with time like most reasonable people. a person who hasn't been changed by experience cannot really have experienced it anything. perhaps i will become a softie and abide by local customs here in due time, but for now, i'm still part-languishing in the phase of "i dont give a damn" (probably a phrase i never knew until i went stateside). i think i should definitely start to give a damn about lots of things because in india, you are not just you, you are also what other people perceive you to be.
i also need to learn some more tricks of bargain shopping, as the price range for the same product varies hugely in india depending on where you buy it from. this is not like the US where you get quite different versions of the same product at different stores. its more arbitrary here, and it literally "pays" to do a few hours of research and running around before buying something valuable. i already paid 10000Rs extra for a pair of spectacles than i need have. more patience, more research, and you can really find what you want in india, and at a good price to boot.
my wife is to visit from the US soon. looking forward to that immensely:) she will finish her PhD later this year, and we can look forward to the future as a couple, and not each be in professional flux. perhaps i should write a blog on how to manage a long-distance marriage, but we are only 7 months through this, which is nothing compared to the decade-long horror stories i hear in academia. anyway, skype is the greatest boon to the likes of us - bless you, Friis and Zennstroem - scandinavians may live in cold climes but they know that hearts are warm-blooded.
family-wise, i'm learning that readjusting even to your own family is non-trivial. when i left my folks 11 years ago, i was still very much their kid and listening to their advice. now, having returned after "growing up" in the states, i find i behave and react quite differently with my parents. apparently, and this honestly comes as a surprise to me, i am more argumentative, inconsiderate and individualistic than before. on introspection, i believe this is true, and independent living in the US perhaps has this consequence, which is somewhat unwelcome in india. anyway, a person is the sum and more, of his/her experiences, so i plan to take this in stride and see how far my present persona survives in the company of "family". certainly, i cannot change my personality, but i'm sure it evolves with time like most reasonable people. a person who hasn't been changed by experience cannot really have experienced it anything. perhaps i will become a softie and abide by local customs here in due time, but for now, i'm still part-languishing in the phase of "i dont give a damn" (probably a phrase i never knew until i went stateside). i think i should definitely start to give a damn about lots of things because in india, you are not just you, you are also what other people perceive you to be.
i also need to learn some more tricks of bargain shopping, as the price range for the same product varies hugely in india depending on where you buy it from. this is not like the US where you get quite different versions of the same product at different stores. its more arbitrary here, and it literally "pays" to do a few hours of research and running around before buying something valuable. i already paid 10000Rs extra for a pair of spectacles than i need have. more patience, more research, and you can really find what you want in india, and at a good price to boot.
my wife is to visit from the US soon. looking forward to that immensely:) she will finish her PhD later this year, and we can look forward to the future as a couple, and not each be in professional flux. perhaps i should write a blog on how to manage a long-distance marriage, but we are only 7 months through this, which is nothing compared to the decade-long horror stories i hear in academia. anyway, skype is the greatest boon to the likes of us - bless you, Friis and Zennstroem - scandinavians may live in cold climes but they know that hearts are warm-blooded.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
4.5 months hence
4.5 months hence..experiencing strong signs of homesickness - i would call it lifestyle-sickness..a nostalgia about the old lifestyle, environs and social circle (though limited:) in the US. heck, even watching CNN presidential debates leaves me with a warm feeling inside! the dreams where i'm driving my car on a US-route or I-something are the worst..oh, to drive on those road again! Also missing the sharp and fresh winter air of the midwest and northeast. and of course, i miss my wife too:) wish i could go catch the latest flick or drive 10-15 miles to try out a new restaurant with her.
on the other hand, certainly dont miss doing dishes, laundry, shopping, cleaning etc. now trying to come up with a plan to have it all. that would need some sort of business/enterprise/occupation that is based in one country but also operating in the other. of course, it should also be fulfilling and exciting, so working for XYZ company is not an option, since i like to control my time.
for now, its a busy time for me, with the carnatic music season about to begin here. I've been looking forward to this, having never really enjoyed a classical music concert in the US except in bits and parts (due to my lack of understanding of the music, no doubt, but music is as much felt as heard and understood).
so, 4-5 months after the move, when the initial frenzy of resettling has died down, is when one can calmly examine the future that lies ahead and with it comes all the anxieties of the life left behind and the new road ahead. This is a trying phase but not unexpected and it will be interesting to see what comes out of it in the future.
on the other hand, certainly dont miss doing dishes, laundry, shopping, cleaning etc. now trying to come up with a plan to have it all. that would need some sort of business/enterprise/occupation that is based in one country but also operating in the other. of course, it should also be fulfilling and exciting, so working for XYZ company is not an option, since i like to control my time.
for now, its a busy time for me, with the carnatic music season about to begin here. I've been looking forward to this, having never really enjoyed a classical music concert in the US except in bits and parts (due to my lack of understanding of the music, no doubt, but music is as much felt as heard and understood).
so, 4-5 months after the move, when the initial frenzy of resettling has died down, is when one can calmly examine the future that lies ahead and with it comes all the anxieties of the life left behind and the new road ahead. This is a trying phase but not unexpected and it will be interesting to see what comes out of it in the future.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
2 months hence
Its been exactly 2 months since i returned now. Life is settling into a new pattern, as i venture out to do more things on my own, though i have yet to perform tasks of any great difficulty (like say, driving on chennai roads!). Its pretty clear now that if you're willing to endure the hassle of the traffic here, or even walk around a bit in the atrocious weather (which is what i choose to do since it keeps me slim), you can get access to a wide range of stores, services, goods etc. without much problem.. Living with my folks, i dont have to buy anything large, like furniture or electronics, but smaller things are easy to get and the service is fairly prompt too. I wish my local bank was as prompt in answering my queries, but government-inspired incompetence has put paid to that for the time-being.
The work environment and attitudes are much more familiar to me..less intense than US, but also without unnecessary tension or office politics..maybe i'm just lucky in that respect! I now get time to really explore more options at work, and follow new ideas as i dont feel pressured to achieve a certain status by a certain time. This has made me more focused at work, and I am enjoying it more. Without the job and visa uncertainties, I can now focus on more long-term goals, which is very motivating.Finally, one can never overemphasize how great it is to see one's parents and relatives again on a regular basis. The benefits of this on the quality of life and one's mental and physical health is exrtremely positive.
Though i have yet to have any negative experience regarding my move personally (wistful thoughts of the cleanliness, pleasurable driving and nice weather of midwestern US suburbia aside), one thing that gets my goat is the status of governance and politics here, which seems abysmal. Although a few are maybe trying to serve the people, the majority are very narrow-minded, self-serving, power-hungry dotards; at least they come across that way when they make statements in the newspapers or TV. There is something wrong when people of age 60+ are allowed to decide matters of crucial importance to a country's future, specially when the present is changing so fast on account of the youth's energy. Also, there is such a thing as being over-democractic, though i feel it is unavoidable in a cacophonic conglomeration of cultures and peoples that is India. I also feel the priorities are out of whack; the govt. promises free TV's for all or reservations based on caste, but why not free garbage cans, trash disposal, health screenings for the poor or primary education for lower-income kids? Well, I know why of course, and it is not unique to India, since such mismanagement, logic-defying rhetoric and claims to be acting in the 'national interest' abound in the current US administration too, but it is quite endemic here at govt. levels. Anyway, I really need to get involved in making a difference to these things. Or else, I had better high-tail it from here, because it will wear me down.
There are also media-highlighted stories of several instances of primitive and lawless behaviour from various parts of india, which makes it very clear that emancipation at all levels (social, economic, cultural) is occuring at widely different rates in different parts of the country, and in some places, not at all. India has to deal with this anomaly at some point. Without attempting to contribute something positive to this worrisome scenario, i have not much more to say, except i dont believe in any 'manifest or demographic destiny' for India except that which future generations make for themselves.
So, after 2 months, I have to say I am now more involved in India and am starting to get bothered by things, though i'm fully aware that how i deal with it will determine how happy I am here. Either way, there is work to be done and that is a happy state of affairs to be in.
The work environment and attitudes are much more familiar to me..less intense than US, but also without unnecessary tension or office politics..maybe i'm just lucky in that respect! I now get time to really explore more options at work, and follow new ideas as i dont feel pressured to achieve a certain status by a certain time. This has made me more focused at work, and I am enjoying it more. Without the job and visa uncertainties, I can now focus on more long-term goals, which is very motivating.Finally, one can never overemphasize how great it is to see one's parents and relatives again on a regular basis. The benefits of this on the quality of life and one's mental and physical health is exrtremely positive.
Though i have yet to have any negative experience regarding my move personally (wistful thoughts of the cleanliness, pleasurable driving and nice weather of midwestern US suburbia aside), one thing that gets my goat is the status of governance and politics here, which seems abysmal. Although a few are maybe trying to serve the people, the majority are very narrow-minded, self-serving, power-hungry dotards; at least they come across that way when they make statements in the newspapers or TV. There is something wrong when people of age 60+ are allowed to decide matters of crucial importance to a country's future, specially when the present is changing so fast on account of the youth's energy. Also, there is such a thing as being over-democractic, though i feel it is unavoidable in a cacophonic conglomeration of cultures and peoples that is India. I also feel the priorities are out of whack; the govt. promises free TV's for all or reservations based on caste, but why not free garbage cans, trash disposal, health screenings for the poor or primary education for lower-income kids? Well, I know why of course, and it is not unique to India, since such mismanagement, logic-defying rhetoric and claims to be acting in the 'national interest' abound in the current US administration too, but it is quite endemic here at govt. levels. Anyway, I really need to get involved in making a difference to these things. Or else, I had better high-tail it from here, because it will wear me down.
There are also media-highlighted stories of several instances of primitive and lawless behaviour from various parts of india, which makes it very clear that emancipation at all levels (social, economic, cultural) is occuring at widely different rates in different parts of the country, and in some places, not at all. India has to deal with this anomaly at some point. Without attempting to contribute something positive to this worrisome scenario, i have not much more to say, except i dont believe in any 'manifest or demographic destiny' for India except that which future generations make for themselves.
So, after 2 months, I have to say I am now more involved in India and am starting to get bothered by things, though i'm fully aware that how i deal with it will determine how happy I am here. Either way, there is work to be done and that is a happy state of affairs to be in.
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