..and now i'm back in India after 7 months in the US. 7 months where i worked pretty hard, but made sure to enjoy other aspects of life as well, including spending time with wife and friends. I took some personal time to reflect on things I need to achieve in the future. The good thing about shuttling between 2 parts of your life, one indian and one american is that you learn you can never be rid of either, and moving or staying should be based on an acceptance of both, not rejection of one. Finally, you should stay where you are happiest, and this your heart tells you, and this is the right answer even if it doesn't make sense professionally or financially in the short term. I now also have a better understading and respect for "time". It is not finite in terms of things you want to achieve in your life (there is ample time for that and life will give you a break from time to time), but one has finite time to put ideas into action. At some point, stop thinking and just do. If its a mistake, so be it. I took some courses to satisfy my growing interest in the financial world. The physical Universe is a fascinating place in terms of underlying structure, but the financial universe is so interconnected and capricious, its equally fascinating to someone who lacks deep knowledge of this field. I did some traveling to remind myself how much I enjoy seeing new places and how beautiful unpopulated and untouched natural surroundings can be. My greatest triumph of the last few months was overcoming my fear of water and learning how to swim. I now enjoy it a lot and it was a well-learned lesson in how going outside your comfort zone is the only way to remain challenged and therefore young (yes, i'm starting to feel old, but i'll fight it the only way possible - by not settling for anything that's easy).
I am now trying to adopt this mantra on a day-2-day basis. To do something which I am not familiar with or which doesn't come easily as a consequence of past training. This way, I can lose track of time and be productive rather than let petty deadlines rule your life, in which case you lose productivity and enjoyment of work.
The weather in Chennai is comfortably warm, now being winter, and I am in a more relaxed and well-adjusted state than a year ago when I dove into changes that had unanticipated consequences - but that is so with most big decisions and one has to accept them with an open mind and look for opportunities in the future. I now know a) where i want to live and b) how to make peace with a choice. I am now in the process of implementation. The results will follow as they always do.
The local news here in Chennai, and elsewhere in India is about the Mumbai attacks. I will go about my life in the usual way hoping that effective measures are introduced to improve security and tackle the underlying causes (by asking the Americans to do so!). The "local" news in Chicago concerns the Illinois governor who has taken a chapter, rather than a page, out of the indian politician's playbook. Governor Rod Blagojevich is invited to visit his kindred souls in the indian political leadership who survive on the apathy of most sections of our indian society, and preferably take them back with him to Federal US prison. America, world police, we need you (Somalia and Zimbabwe will second it)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
10 months hence
ok, actually i'm now back in the US, on a temporary visiting scientist position for a few months. I was quite looking forward to this since i'm able to escape the chennai heat for a while and also work a bit more efficiently with my collaborators who are in the US. In addition, i now get to stay with my wife till November, and she is due to finish her PhD in December, so we wont be apart for as long as we thought we would.
How does it feel to be back in the US? I get asked this a lot. Well, its only been a week here, and 10 months in India was not long enough, so I think the US feels pretty much the same. The one thing that's really nice - the clean streets and neighborhoods, and the lack of obvious destitution. I didn't think this would be such a big deal, but it is. I dont care about dollars vs. Rs, or work here vs. work there (i'm lucky to have a great work environment in both the US and India) but cleanliness and the fact that average people just live way more comfortably here is nice to see. and the lack of crowds everywhere (except at places i dont go to anyway, like baseball games and rock concerts) is something i like, though some may prefer the hustle and bustle of indian streets, and i do too on rare occasions.
I do miss family (mom and dad) but being with my wife and friends makes up for it. Someday, we shall all be together, and that is pretty much the ultimate aim. However, i think one's first responsibility is to one's own spouse and kids, parents are next in line, harsh thought that may sounds in the indian context.
For now, my wife has to get a job somewhere after her graduation and we shall see how things go. I would say 10 months in India is not enough to give it a chance, specially if you are not mobile and really like a lot of things about India from the get-go. I have yet to deal with any big practical problems in India - just minor irritants like arguing with autowallahs in chennai, people spitting left, right and center, general uncleanliness and apathy towards the same, and specifically for chennai, the heat. not much one can do about these things except not let it bother you too much - in other words, become apathetic yourself! Hey, at least the food is great.
what our plans are in the long run and how they will develop remains to be seen - watch this space!
How does it feel to be back in the US? I get asked this a lot. Well, its only been a week here, and 10 months in India was not long enough, so I think the US feels pretty much the same. The one thing that's really nice - the clean streets and neighborhoods, and the lack of obvious destitution. I didn't think this would be such a big deal, but it is. I dont care about dollars vs. Rs, or work here vs. work there (i'm lucky to have a great work environment in both the US and India) but cleanliness and the fact that average people just live way more comfortably here is nice to see. and the lack of crowds everywhere (except at places i dont go to anyway, like baseball games and rock concerts) is something i like, though some may prefer the hustle and bustle of indian streets, and i do too on rare occasions.
I do miss family (mom and dad) but being with my wife and friends makes up for it. Someday, we shall all be together, and that is pretty much the ultimate aim. However, i think one's first responsibility is to one's own spouse and kids, parents are next in line, harsh thought that may sounds in the indian context.
For now, my wife has to get a job somewhere after her graduation and we shall see how things go. I would say 10 months in India is not enough to give it a chance, specially if you are not mobile and really like a lot of things about India from the get-go. I have yet to deal with any big practical problems in India - just minor irritants like arguing with autowallahs in chennai, people spitting left, right and center, general uncleanliness and apathy towards the same, and specifically for chennai, the heat. not much one can do about these things except not let it bother you too much - in other words, become apathetic yourself! Hey, at least the food is great.
what our plans are in the long run and how they will develop remains to be seen - watch this space!
Friday, January 18, 2008
6.5 months hence
life is now quite hectic, specially at work, where i have several travels coming up. Now that the future is also getting busy, i can say that i am beginning to lay down some roots here. I'm interacting with a wider circle of people, spending more, shopping more and filling out forms and giving passport photos for everything! (a sure sign you've arrived in india!)
family-wise, i'm learning that readjusting even to your own family is non-trivial. when i left my folks 11 years ago, i was still very much their kid and listening to their advice. now, having returned after "growing up" in the states, i find i behave and react quite differently with my parents. apparently, and this honestly comes as a surprise to me, i am more argumentative, inconsiderate and individualistic than before. on introspection, i believe this is true, and independent living in the US perhaps has this consequence, which is somewhat unwelcome in india. anyway, a person is the sum and more, of his/her experiences, so i plan to take this in stride and see how far my present persona survives in the company of "family". certainly, i cannot change my personality, but i'm sure it evolves with time like most reasonable people. a person who hasn't been changed by experience cannot really have experienced it anything. perhaps i will become a softie and abide by local customs here in due time, but for now, i'm still part-languishing in the phase of "i dont give a damn" (probably a phrase i never knew until i went stateside). i think i should definitely start to give a damn about lots of things because in india, you are not just you, you are also what other people perceive you to be.
i also need to learn some more tricks of bargain shopping, as the price range for the same product varies hugely in india depending on where you buy it from. this is not like the US where you get quite different versions of the same product at different stores. its more arbitrary here, and it literally "pays" to do a few hours of research and running around before buying something valuable. i already paid 10000Rs extra for a pair of spectacles than i need have. more patience, more research, and you can really find what you want in india, and at a good price to boot.
my wife is to visit from the US soon. looking forward to that immensely:) she will finish her PhD later this year, and we can look forward to the future as a couple, and not each be in professional flux. perhaps i should write a blog on how to manage a long-distance marriage, but we are only 7 months through this, which is nothing compared to the decade-long horror stories i hear in academia. anyway, skype is the greatest boon to the likes of us - bless you, Friis and Zennstroem - scandinavians may live in cold climes but they know that hearts are warm-blooded.
family-wise, i'm learning that readjusting even to your own family is non-trivial. when i left my folks 11 years ago, i was still very much their kid and listening to their advice. now, having returned after "growing up" in the states, i find i behave and react quite differently with my parents. apparently, and this honestly comes as a surprise to me, i am more argumentative, inconsiderate and individualistic than before. on introspection, i believe this is true, and independent living in the US perhaps has this consequence, which is somewhat unwelcome in india. anyway, a person is the sum and more, of his/her experiences, so i plan to take this in stride and see how far my present persona survives in the company of "family". certainly, i cannot change my personality, but i'm sure it evolves with time like most reasonable people. a person who hasn't been changed by experience cannot really have experienced it anything. perhaps i will become a softie and abide by local customs here in due time, but for now, i'm still part-languishing in the phase of "i dont give a damn" (probably a phrase i never knew until i went stateside). i think i should definitely start to give a damn about lots of things because in india, you are not just you, you are also what other people perceive you to be.
i also need to learn some more tricks of bargain shopping, as the price range for the same product varies hugely in india depending on where you buy it from. this is not like the US where you get quite different versions of the same product at different stores. its more arbitrary here, and it literally "pays" to do a few hours of research and running around before buying something valuable. i already paid 10000Rs extra for a pair of spectacles than i need have. more patience, more research, and you can really find what you want in india, and at a good price to boot.
my wife is to visit from the US soon. looking forward to that immensely:) she will finish her PhD later this year, and we can look forward to the future as a couple, and not each be in professional flux. perhaps i should write a blog on how to manage a long-distance marriage, but we are only 7 months through this, which is nothing compared to the decade-long horror stories i hear in academia. anyway, skype is the greatest boon to the likes of us - bless you, Friis and Zennstroem - scandinavians may live in cold climes but they know that hearts are warm-blooded.
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