4.5 months hence..experiencing strong signs of homesickness - i would call it lifestyle-sickness..a nostalgia about the old lifestyle, environs and social circle (though limited:) in the US. heck, even watching CNN presidential debates leaves me with a warm feeling inside! the dreams where i'm driving my car on a US-route or I-something are the worst..oh, to drive on those road again! Also missing the sharp and fresh winter air of the midwest and northeast. and of course, i miss my wife too:) wish i could go catch the latest flick or drive 10-15 miles to try out a new restaurant with her.
on the other hand, certainly dont miss doing dishes, laundry, shopping, cleaning etc. now trying to come up with a plan to have it all. that would need some sort of business/enterprise/occupation that is based in one country but also operating in the other. of course, it should also be fulfilling and exciting, so working for XYZ company is not an option, since i like to control my time.
for now, its a busy time for me, with the carnatic music season about to begin here. I've been looking forward to this, having never really enjoyed a classical music concert in the US except in bits and parts (due to my lack of understanding of the music, no doubt, but music is as much felt as heard and understood).
so, 4-5 months after the move, when the initial frenzy of resettling has died down, is when one can calmly examine the future that lies ahead and with it comes all the anxieties of the life left behind and the new road ahead. This is a trying phase but not unexpected and it will be interesting to see what comes out of it in the future.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Saturday, September 1, 2007
2 months hence
Its been exactly 2 months since i returned now. Life is settling into a new pattern, as i venture out to do more things on my own, though i have yet to perform tasks of any great difficulty (like say, driving on chennai roads!). Its pretty clear now that if you're willing to endure the hassle of the traffic here, or even walk around a bit in the atrocious weather (which is what i choose to do since it keeps me slim), you can get access to a wide range of stores, services, goods etc. without much problem.. Living with my folks, i dont have to buy anything large, like furniture or electronics, but smaller things are easy to get and the service is fairly prompt too. I wish my local bank was as prompt in answering my queries, but government-inspired incompetence has put paid to that for the time-being.
The work environment and attitudes are much more familiar to me..less intense than US, but also without unnecessary tension or office politics..maybe i'm just lucky in that respect! I now get time to really explore more options at work, and follow new ideas as i dont feel pressured to achieve a certain status by a certain time. This has made me more focused at work, and I am enjoying it more. Without the job and visa uncertainties, I can now focus on more long-term goals, which is very motivating.Finally, one can never overemphasize how great it is to see one's parents and relatives again on a regular basis. The benefits of this on the quality of life and one's mental and physical health is exrtremely positive.
Though i have yet to have any negative experience regarding my move personally (wistful thoughts of the cleanliness, pleasurable driving and nice weather of midwestern US suburbia aside), one thing that gets my goat is the status of governance and politics here, which seems abysmal. Although a few are maybe trying to serve the people, the majority are very narrow-minded, self-serving, power-hungry dotards; at least they come across that way when they make statements in the newspapers or TV. There is something wrong when people of age 60+ are allowed to decide matters of crucial importance to a country's future, specially when the present is changing so fast on account of the youth's energy. Also, there is such a thing as being over-democractic, though i feel it is unavoidable in a cacophonic conglomeration of cultures and peoples that is India. I also feel the priorities are out of whack; the govt. promises free TV's for all or reservations based on caste, but why not free garbage cans, trash disposal, health screenings for the poor or primary education for lower-income kids? Well, I know why of course, and it is not unique to India, since such mismanagement, logic-defying rhetoric and claims to be acting in the 'national interest' abound in the current US administration too, but it is quite endemic here at govt. levels. Anyway, I really need to get involved in making a difference to these things. Or else, I had better high-tail it from here, because it will wear me down.
There are also media-highlighted stories of several instances of primitive and lawless behaviour from various parts of india, which makes it very clear that emancipation at all levels (social, economic, cultural) is occuring at widely different rates in different parts of the country, and in some places, not at all. India has to deal with this anomaly at some point. Without attempting to contribute something positive to this worrisome scenario, i have not much more to say, except i dont believe in any 'manifest or demographic destiny' for India except that which future generations make for themselves.
So, after 2 months, I have to say I am now more involved in India and am starting to get bothered by things, though i'm fully aware that how i deal with it will determine how happy I am here. Either way, there is work to be done and that is a happy state of affairs to be in.
The work environment and attitudes are much more familiar to me..less intense than US, but also without unnecessary tension or office politics..maybe i'm just lucky in that respect! I now get time to really explore more options at work, and follow new ideas as i dont feel pressured to achieve a certain status by a certain time. This has made me more focused at work, and I am enjoying it more. Without the job and visa uncertainties, I can now focus on more long-term goals, which is very motivating.Finally, one can never overemphasize how great it is to see one's parents and relatives again on a regular basis. The benefits of this on the quality of life and one's mental and physical health is exrtremely positive.
Though i have yet to have any negative experience regarding my move personally (wistful thoughts of the cleanliness, pleasurable driving and nice weather of midwestern US suburbia aside), one thing that gets my goat is the status of governance and politics here, which seems abysmal. Although a few are maybe trying to serve the people, the majority are very narrow-minded, self-serving, power-hungry dotards; at least they come across that way when they make statements in the newspapers or TV. There is something wrong when people of age 60+ are allowed to decide matters of crucial importance to a country's future, specially when the present is changing so fast on account of the youth's energy. Also, there is such a thing as being over-democractic, though i feel it is unavoidable in a cacophonic conglomeration of cultures and peoples that is India. I also feel the priorities are out of whack; the govt. promises free TV's for all or reservations based on caste, but why not free garbage cans, trash disposal, health screenings for the poor or primary education for lower-income kids? Well, I know why of course, and it is not unique to India, since such mismanagement, logic-defying rhetoric and claims to be acting in the 'national interest' abound in the current US administration too, but it is quite endemic here at govt. levels. Anyway, I really need to get involved in making a difference to these things. Or else, I had better high-tail it from here, because it will wear me down.
There are also media-highlighted stories of several instances of primitive and lawless behaviour from various parts of india, which makes it very clear that emancipation at all levels (social, economic, cultural) is occuring at widely different rates in different parts of the country, and in some places, not at all. India has to deal with this anomaly at some point. Without attempting to contribute something positive to this worrisome scenario, i have not much more to say, except i dont believe in any 'manifest or demographic destiny' for India except that which future generations make for themselves.
So, after 2 months, I have to say I am now more involved in India and am starting to get bothered by things, though i'm fully aware that how i deal with it will determine how happy I am here. Either way, there is work to be done and that is a happy state of affairs to be in.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
3 weeks hence
its been 3 weeks since i landed in chennai. more accurately, i waited 10 hours at mumbai airport, 3 more on the plane, thanks to air india, and reached chennai 14 hrs. later than scheduled. in india, this much time spent in public yields many incidents:
i was expecting to be hassled by customs/police (for no particular reason). Instead, when i left my wallet with a stack of money at the mumbai security check, it was returned to me promptly, with an admonishing talk by the local pandu to be more watchful. this was a pleasant surprise.
2 tamil girls of age about 20-25 were playing some memory game sitting next to me at the airport. their whole conversation and mannerisms were almost childlike and innocent. i cant imagine two 25 year-old american girls sitting together and discussing such harmless things as these two were.
i tried using the W/C but it took me some wanderings at the airport to find a clean one. i dont know when cleanliness as a way of life will come to india. it cannot be soon enough.
when the plane was held up without obvious reason on the tarmac, the full ingenuity and wit of the chennai-bound crowd was displayed in their exasperated comments. while the order in the western society generally moves one to mind your own business, the chaos here inspires one to collective and individual action that makes everyday living more dynamic. this was my first reminder/realization that life in india is more colorful and interesting. true, such action is not always pleasant, but i believe it is what makes some indians yearn for more exciting surroundings than a peaceful suburb in america. nothing much happens in day-2-day life in america..in india, there are stories to tell everyday.
since i now live with my parents for a while, the quality of food intake has gone up immensely. things are more ordered/structured with other people in your home, as opposed to living alone when you can pretty much make up your own lifestyle. stuff like banks, offices, etc. involving waiting on another person is certainly more trying here than in the US, but it is not any less transparent because rules are explained very clearly, advice is given freely (which is good in such matters) and the staff is business-like if still a far cry from the eager politeness in the US. basically, one has to show a little more patience with procedures that strike you as obviously inefficient or managed by somewhat incompetent people.
dealing with personnel in private enterprises is totally different. they are quick, accommodating beyond US-conditioned belief, and professional. they are also kinder than the front-desk force in the american services, though sometimes they have to be because procedure and order breaks down here also, and they had better be sympathetic to the customer's needs.
as i said earlier, i will only recollect my experiences and feelings in real time (roughly) without much analysis. i hope a trend will emerge as a function of my personality and some definite facts/truths.
all in all, thus far, i am happy to be back in india, satisfied at work, and very happy to be with family again.
i still fear for my future here, on account of financial reasons and a desire to live in a cleaner environment.
however, family and familiarity with minute aspects of local culture cancels this out. there was always the possibility in my head that i would not like it here and would be deciding to go west again at the soonest. that possibility no longer exists. after 3 weeks, i am in a state of equilibrium. i am adjusting quickly and liking the small things here that i could not get in the US. time will tell more...
i was expecting to be hassled by customs/police (for no particular reason). Instead, when i left my wallet with a stack of money at the mumbai security check, it was returned to me promptly, with an admonishing talk by the local pandu to be more watchful. this was a pleasant surprise.
2 tamil girls of age about 20-25 were playing some memory game sitting next to me at the airport. their whole conversation and mannerisms were almost childlike and innocent. i cant imagine two 25 year-old american girls sitting together and discussing such harmless things as these two were.
i tried using the W/C but it took me some wanderings at the airport to find a clean one. i dont know when cleanliness as a way of life will come to india. it cannot be soon enough.
when the plane was held up without obvious reason on the tarmac, the full ingenuity and wit of the chennai-bound crowd was displayed in their exasperated comments. while the order in the western society generally moves one to mind your own business, the chaos here inspires one to collective and individual action that makes everyday living more dynamic. this was my first reminder/realization that life in india is more colorful and interesting. true, such action is not always pleasant, but i believe it is what makes some indians yearn for more exciting surroundings than a peaceful suburb in america. nothing much happens in day-2-day life in america..in india, there are stories to tell everyday.
since i now live with my parents for a while, the quality of food intake has gone up immensely. things are more ordered/structured with other people in your home, as opposed to living alone when you can pretty much make up your own lifestyle. stuff like banks, offices, etc. involving waiting on another person is certainly more trying here than in the US, but it is not any less transparent because rules are explained very clearly, advice is given freely (which is good in such matters) and the staff is business-like if still a far cry from the eager politeness in the US. basically, one has to show a little more patience with procedures that strike you as obviously inefficient or managed by somewhat incompetent people.
dealing with personnel in private enterprises is totally different. they are quick, accommodating beyond US-conditioned belief, and professional. they are also kinder than the front-desk force in the american services, though sometimes they have to be because procedure and order breaks down here also, and they had better be sympathetic to the customer's needs.
as i said earlier, i will only recollect my experiences and feelings in real time (roughly) without much analysis. i hope a trend will emerge as a function of my personality and some definite facts/truths.
all in all, thus far, i am happy to be back in india, satisfied at work, and very happy to be with family again.
i still fear for my future here, on account of financial reasons and a desire to live in a cleaner environment.
however, family and familiarity with minute aspects of local culture cancels this out. there was always the possibility in my head that i would not like it here and would be deciding to go west again at the soonest. that possibility no longer exists. after 3 weeks, i am in a state of equilibrium. i am adjusting quickly and liking the small things here that i could not get in the US. time will tell more...
Thursday, June 28, 2007
R2I experience - young scientist
As i'm returning to india after 10 yrs in north america, i thought it would be interesting and useful to catalog my own experience of this transition. not that others haven't done this, but being in a non-technical, albeit scientific field, and having my own (probably not very different) reasons for the return, perhaps my collage will be of interest to some, most of all to me to chart my own thoughts and actions. i hope i remain diligent in doing this!
some generalities: i'm 32, a physicist, happy in my profession, married to an indian career woman living in the US who is willing to follow me back, without kids as yet, financially comfortable, but far from earning the salaries of a minimally experienced IT professional or a private co. employee in today's urban india. my savings from living in the US are also meagre, lest you should think i have the safety of a few hundred thousand dollars stashed away somewhere.
i'm moving from chicago to chennai, i'm tamilian and to quote my cousin "generally happy in life", which you should take to mean, roughly, that i am a person who is not terribly ambitious and who does not care for the pleasures of say, a 20-in plasma TV or a foot-massage machine. On the other hand, i do get upset when certain things are lacking in my life, for example, the daily show and gatorade. I expect that a broadband connection and coconut water will solve such manner of problems. This move may or may not be for good, since i am reasonably happy, though not entirely satisfied living abroad. in other words, i may move out again in future, but this is a very tenuous scenario right now. For all purposes, I am moving back to india for good and write this blog in this spirit.
some specifics: i'm returning, like most everyone else, based on some ill-defined expectations, and some firm foundations. the ill-defined ones are mostly connected to inner-feelings of cultural longing, admittedly luke-warm nationalism, unease at my lack of civic contribution to indian society despite being obviously priveleged, and the waning patience with and allure of, a somewhat nomadic existence far from family who raised me. Despite all this, i would never consider returning if i did not have a good job that entails work that i enjoy, decent job prospects for my wife, who will move back to india next year, the support of family in proximity, and the hints that the next few decades are possibly hugely transformative for india. i want to see for myself if and how this is happening, and i want to be a part of it.
a self-explanatory pattern will likely emerge as i write about my experiences. For now, it suffices to say that i will always write in the present, to avoid benefits of hindsight and reflections, though i will naturally analyse my experiences thusly. I will also make comparisons, pointless though they may seem, because i view it as being a natural part of re-acclimitization and my own nature.
date of departure: June 30th, 2007 from chicago; arrival in chennai July 2nd, 2007.
some generalities: i'm 32, a physicist, happy in my profession, married to an indian career woman living in the US who is willing to follow me back, without kids as yet, financially comfortable, but far from earning the salaries of a minimally experienced IT professional or a private co. employee in today's urban india. my savings from living in the US are also meagre, lest you should think i have the safety of a few hundred thousand dollars stashed away somewhere.
i'm moving from chicago to chennai, i'm tamilian and to quote my cousin "generally happy in life", which you should take to mean, roughly, that i am a person who is not terribly ambitious and who does not care for the pleasures of say, a 20-in plasma TV or a foot-massage machine. On the other hand, i do get upset when certain things are lacking in my life, for example, the daily show and gatorade. I expect that a broadband connection and coconut water will solve such manner of problems. This move may or may not be for good, since i am reasonably happy, though not entirely satisfied living abroad. in other words, i may move out again in future, but this is a very tenuous scenario right now. For all purposes, I am moving back to india for good and write this blog in this spirit.
some specifics: i'm returning, like most everyone else, based on some ill-defined expectations, and some firm foundations. the ill-defined ones are mostly connected to inner-feelings of cultural longing, admittedly luke-warm nationalism, unease at my lack of civic contribution to indian society despite being obviously priveleged, and the waning patience with and allure of, a somewhat nomadic existence far from family who raised me. Despite all this, i would never consider returning if i did not have a good job that entails work that i enjoy, decent job prospects for my wife, who will move back to india next year, the support of family in proximity, and the hints that the next few decades are possibly hugely transformative for india. i want to see for myself if and how this is happening, and i want to be a part of it.
a self-explanatory pattern will likely emerge as i write about my experiences. For now, it suffices to say that i will always write in the present, to avoid benefits of hindsight and reflections, though i will naturally analyse my experiences thusly. I will also make comparisons, pointless though they may seem, because i view it as being a natural part of re-acclimitization and my own nature.
date of departure: June 30th, 2007 from chicago; arrival in chennai July 2nd, 2007.
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